Sleepless Nights
by Ryan-Greens-04
Summary: This story is what I would have love to have happened when Ryan and Greenlee spent their first night apart after Ryan confessed to Jonathan the truth about their marriage.


_This is the first time I ever post on this website. I am a Ryan and Greenlee fan and I write fan fiction for them. This is a PG-13 story. It includes a tender moment between the two. Let me know what you guys think._

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, I just love the actors that portray them and wanted to see where my creative mind would take me._

**_Sleepless Nights_**

What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he sleep? He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. He was sure that he did not want to be in a bed with Greenlee by his side. Well, rephrase that: He did want to share a bed with Greenlee but only if he could make love to her. Since he couldn't he had assumed that not sleeping in the same bed would be best for the two of them. Who was he kidding? It was better for him. Greens seemed to not be affected by it. How could she not? Was she totally immune to all that surrounded them? Was she totally immune to them? Was she not the least bit uncomfortable having him so close to her? Didn't he even make her the least bit nervous? Was she the one that had all the control? He felt so out of control. He didn't like it one bit. Yet, if he were honest with himself, he would have to say that he would rather feel out of control, than not feel what he was feeling for his best friend. This new emotion was so new to him that he didn't know if he should be overjoyed or plain scared. He was going to choose overjoyed for the moment and try to run with that sentiment. He needed to be very careful of his next move – he didn't want to scare Greenlee off.

Still, thoughts plagued him on how she could remain so calm? Every time she was close to him he felt butterflies, for lack of a better analogy. He wanted her, had always wanted her, even when he was with Kendall he had wanted her but now it was different. Now, he not only lusted after her but he wanted to get to know her better than he ever had – as a person, as the person that he was falling in love with. He knew her as his best friend – as a former sexual partner. However, he now had the honor of knowing her soul. He didn't want to fall in love again, to go that route again. Kendall had nearly destroyed him yet here he was smack in the middle of falling for Greenlee. Oh this was bad, he thought to himself as he turned to look at the empty pillow beside him. He missed her. Oh this is really bad, he admonished himself. Missing her was a scary thought. Losing her, however, was a petrifying thought. He could probably stay up sleepless nights because he didn't have her by his side but it comforted him to know that she was right across the hall from him, at his reach, if need be. If she weren't there, it would crush him. What was this emotion? Was it already love? Close to love, en route to love? He didn't know the answer to that just yet. All he knew was that love was somehow involved.

How could he fall in love with the one person that he could probably not live without? If he lost her in any way – friendship, husband, and lover -- he would not be able to function. Even though at this moment he was not her lover, he knew that everything else applied; husband as well. He considered himself her real husband, even if they were not making love at the moment. Every action he did throughout his day was for her, for her own good, to defend her, to protect her, to make her happy. He delighted in giving her, her daily surprise because it would put that beautiful smile on her face. All he did he did for her, like a real husband would.

Wasn't that the main thing that Kendall feared? That he was so attached to Greenlee that she was a threat. Was Kendall right? Had indeed Greenlee been a threat and he did not realize it until now? Had he been hiding his feelings for Greenlee just to keep Kendall? Where had that gotten him anyway? Kendall had destroyed all the love that he had for her and there was no going back to her. Sadly, he didn't even want her back. Her antics were appalling. She was nothing to him. He never thought the day would come when he would feel loathing for Kendall Hart. One day a man would love her the way she needed to be loved, but he was now positive that he was not that man. He had tried too hard to please her, to have her in his life, to accommodate her and still she had not trusted him when he needed her to. Right before he was about to marry Greenlee, when Kendall had been in his room and she told him that she trusted him now, he had felt relieved because he knew that in all the years that they tried so hard to make it work he had not been the one to falter. Yet, now, right at this moment, he knew that Kendall's insecurities might have stemmed from the relationship that he had with Greenlee and he felt a bit of remorse. Just a bit, but it was there. He felt bad because now he was starting to realize that his feelings for Greenlee had never been just about friendship – there had always been something else there and he was just not ready to recognize it then, but he was now.

His head was starting to pound with all these thoughts and he admonished himself and thought, enough about Kendall. Back to dreaming about Greenlee! He had always assumed that he knew Greenlee but now he was learning things that he never thought possible about her - she had a kind heart, Greenlee Lavery -- the one that Pine Valley pegged as selfish and manipulative and downright nasty – had a heart as big and as kind as anybody who was beloved in Pine Valley. Why couldn't they get to know her the way he knew her? Greenlee Lavery was a good person. Ryan's own heart stopped suddenly at the realization that he not only gave Greenlee his last name but that without even realizing it, he dropped the DuPres from her last name. He wanted to be the only one that could lay a claim to her. What? Where did this possessive nature come in? He had always been jealous of anyone that tried to get close to Kendall and for a bit he had been jealous of the men that came into Greenlee's life but stored that in the far recesses of his mind. That seemed so long ago, but it wasn't. He could keep his jealousy at bay when it came to Kendall but right at this moment, if he even imagined Greenlee being interested in somebody that was not him - it would send him into a tail spin and he would not know what to do. He would even kill someone if need be. She was destined to be his. Full circle, that is what came to mind at that moment for Ryan. Greenlee had wanted him years ago and he had not known her heart like he knew it now, and rejected her and put her to the side and chose another woman but she had changed for the better and now it was him that wanted to pray, beg, plead, manipulate if he had to – to have her in his life, as his wife. He would never regret the time he spent with Gillian. After all Gillian was the first woman that showed him what true love was all about – they had suffered and conquered in the end. His time with Gillian was something that he would always treasure and maybe it had been a blessing in disguise that he had not fallen for Greenlee back then. She had to find Leo and finally realize what true love was. The both of them had lost the most important people in their lives and because of that they had learned to cherish life and the friends that came into it. Friends that somehow might have a chance to be more if the timing and the feelings were right, inside the both of them. He only hoped that Greenlee was ready to move on – preferably with him.

What if she didn't want to move on with him? What would he do then? Could he stay only her friend, pining for her from afar? Seeing her happy with some other guy? Okay, stop it Ryan, he said to himself. Greenlee is married to you and you have close to six months to make this work. There was no way that anyone out there could be a threat. He trusted that Greenlee would at least keep herself attached to him and to their marriage vows as long as they had to. He didn't believe for one minute that she would go against the pre-nuptial agreement. That is unless, she wanted to, with him. He smiled as thoughts of her invaded his brain. The way she sauntered to the bed when she came out of his bathroom the first time that they had slept in the same bed, the way she had smiled and told him to think about an imaginary line – the Grand Canyon was his response because only something that big could have prevented him from not at least hugging her to him for the night. Then, he had woken up the next morning to find himself hugging her to him and not entirely disliking it. On the contrary, he really enjoyed having her warmth wake him up in the morning - her body flushed against his. He could definitely become a morning person if he could wake up to her every morning for the rest of his life.

Another thought suddenly plagued him. He didn't just want the six months, he wanted her to be with him for the rest of his life and if she would have him, he would definitely keep her. "Greenlee what am I going to do with you?" he asked himself out loud. Then suddenly a thought crept into his mind. He had never backed down from a confrontation, a struggle, or an obstacle. He got out of bed and put on his pajama bottoms and made his way into her room. He had made a decision. Whether it was a conscious one or not, the decision had been made - his heart belonged to her now and he wanted to either give it to her tonight to protect and safeguard it, or trample all over it because he could not live like this anymore. The answer was in her hands – totally and completely.

Ryan quietly opened the door to her bedroom, surprised that she had not locked it. He almost laughed out loud at his good fortune; but did not for fear of waking her up – he just hoped that his luck continued throughout the night. He approached her side of the bed and his heart stilled for a couple of seconds. She was so beautiful. The moonlight cascaded in through the window casting a beautiful glow to her face. She was on her side, with one pillow below her hand and head and the other pillow hugged to her tightly. Should he wake her up? He couldn't be that cruel. Without even thinking about it he went to the other side of the bed, pulled back the covers and slid in. This was home. It did not matter what bed they were in, all that mattered was the fact that they were in bed together. He realized that he didn't care how tortured he felt he wanted to sleep by her side for the rest of his days. He never wanted to sleep alone again – and the best part is that he would only want to sleep by Greenlee's side, no other woman would do.

Greenlee stirred slightly and Ryan froze. He didn't know what reaction she would have. To his delight Greenlee turned towards him and her arm reached out for him. Once her hand landed on his chest, she smiled, still in her sleep and she closed the gap between them. He relaxed and put his arm around her waist, as his head dropped down against hers and fell in a deep slumber almost immediately. His last thoughts were: "This is exactly where I want to be for the rest of my life."

_**The next morning ........**_

Greenlee felt herself awaken. It was morning already. She opened her eyes and tried to focus and as her senses came back to her, she froze. Someone was hugging her to them and her face was right on someone's chest. What happened? She had known it was Ryan as soon as she woke up, she would know his touch and the feel of his skin anywhere. What was he doing in her bed? Hadn't they already discussed this last night? Jonathan knew. There was no reason to sleep in the same bed anymore. What was he doing in her bed?

She decided not to analyze it immediately. Instead, she turned her head and put her face in the crook of his neck. He smelled so good and he was so warm. He felt incredible next to her. What did it mean that he was there with her and wanting to? She didn't make him sleep next to her. Jonathan knew the deal, she reminded herself again. Then it hit her like a ton of bricks, he was there because he wanted to be and she was ecstatic. She inched closer to him and in his sleep he pulled her closer even. She smiled and her lips caressed his neck, ever so slightly. She never wanted to leave his arms. If she could stay like this forever she would. She didn't have the courage to tell him that she was completely in love with him just yet but this was a start. She felt so connected to him, on every level. They did not have a sexual relationship and their connection was so strong. She had learned a long time ago that she did not have to sleep with a person to feel connected to them. Leo had showed her that. All the times that Leo and she were separated, she still felt connected to him – it extended beyond the physical - it was an emotional connection that no one could penetrate. Now she felt it with Ryan. If only he felt the same for her. He might not feel it now but she had hopes that he would feel it soon – and this was an excellent start.

She suddenly felt Ryan stir and she closed her eyes once again pretending to be asleep. Wasn't that the game that she played after all? Once he was fully awake, he pulled her closer even – as if that was possible -- and kissed the top of her head. "Greenlee?" he called out to her. "Wake up sweetheart." He said, lovingly.

She played his game and pretended to be just waking up and smiled, "What are you doing in my bed?" she questioned. "We don't have to sleep in the same bed anymore." She explained, trying to disguise her nervousness.

This was it, Ryan thought. The moment of truth – it's now or never. He decided to go with nothing but the truth: "I missed you so I came to your bed instead. Greens, I don't know if it was a good idea or not to tell Jonathan the truth." He confessed. At Greenlee's stare, he continued on: "I mean I trust my brother and I wanted to tell him but because I told him you got your bed back. I knew I didn't like the idea but I thought to myself, hey those are the breaks and we do have a pre-nup that we have to abide by." He finished his rant. He had not wanted her to get a word in edgewise because if she interrupted he probably would have stopped and not had the courage to finish his thought.

Greenlee sensing his hesitation and his nervousness; prodded him gently, gaining a bit more confidence with his words: "But?"

"But...." He continued, personally relieved that she didn't stop his rant, on the contrary, wanting him to continue. "I realized that I needed you by my side. That not only did I need it but I wanted you there – I got used to your presence and I wanted it so much that I decided that the only way that I was going to get some sleep was if I came to your bed and invaded it." He said, trying to lighten the mood by joking.

"I missed you too Ry." She said, confessing her own feelings. "I mean I wanted to just kill you for telling Jonathan the truth. Not because of him telling people or me not trusting him but because it would give us the liberty to go back to our own rooms and the truth is I wanted to keep on spending my nights with you. It's nice. It's peaceful and I actually look forward to them." She finished, looking downward suddenly very conscientious of what she was confessing.

Ryan sensed her hesitation and added: "Greens, the problem is that if we keep doing this I am going to get us both in trouble. I really don't want to just sleep by your side. I want to touch you, kiss you and hold you. I just want to feel you. Don't you see Greens? I need to do that to be able to make love to you. I've wanted to make love for you for months now and having you here, so close to me....." he said, inching closer to her and bending his head down slightly so there noses were touching ever so slightly, "I just want to kiss you right now." He whispered as Greenlee felt his breath on her lips and trembled in anticipation. After so long, Ryan was going to kiss her.

Ryan felt her tremble and he backed away slowly. "I have made you feel uncomfortable." He said. Obvious pain etched in his face. Greenlee's hand reached up and she caressed his face before he could turn it away. "No Ryan you haven't." she explained. "I want you to kiss me." She finished, as she brought her hand around the back of his neck and inched him closer to her face. After all this time she was finally starting to believe that she would get what she wanted - Ryan and his love.

Ryan looked at her stunned as he smiled and bent down and gently touched his lips to hers, almost hesitantly. She was so beautiful. What he felt for her at that precise moment, he wasn't entirely sure. He knew that it wasn't just lust anymore. Greenlee stirred feelings in him that he thought were buried deep inside of him. If he were to wager on this feeling he would say that it was the beginning of love, if not love already. Gillian made him feel this way at one point. Kendall as well but Greenlee, Greenlee stirred in him the same emotions and quite a few new ones as well. It was mind-boggling.

As his lips caressed her slowly, she smiled and arched her back towards him, getting closer to him and deepening the kiss. Where this was headed she had no idea but one thing was for sure, the pre-nup was going to be a problem after tonight. Her feelings were clear. She knew that she loved him above anything else. She just hoped that he would give her the same in return. He seemed with this kiss to be headed in the right direction.

They both deserved to be happy, Greenlee thought to herself. She after Leo's death – it had left her empty and broken. This was the first time that she felt herself whole. Leo left a void so big in her heart that no one had been able to fill. Ryan was probably the only one that could begin to fill that void. Ryan on the other hand, after losing Gillian so tragically had nearly killed him and after bearing his heart to Kendall just to have her stomp all over it – he needed someone to completely restore his faith in love and in forever after. She was just the woman to do that.


End file.
